A Letter to my older self

Dear Future Duby,

You are now standing at the point where you looked up to many years ago and wondering how it is that you do not feel a damn difference. That is fine. You were never one to grow old anyway. The foibles of life are of many a plentitude that I can only imagine how much more you've grown and how much more you have to learn. There were a couple of things I would have loved to tell you when you were much younger but perhaps I was afraid to temper the beauty of uncertainty. Eager to relish the curiosities of unexpectancy. But alas! It is with the half baked entitlement of a younger self (roughly 22 years and 10 months of age) that i present to you my many few heirlooms of wisdom from the past. Ironically, as you like it.

There is no such thing as "fate", or "God's plan", so dont cry over spilt milk. Make a template and present it to God for his guidance. If you earn it, he will grant it. You learnt a great lesson that August 16th when you received the disastrous surprise of three poor A level grades which you hard worked dearly for. Blame it on whatever but it does not matter because you fought your way up with hard work and faith to eventually get into law school and go on to become a very successful english barrister with a brilliant university track record. Peace out AQA!

But do not be arrogant. The beauty of success is that it should inflame in us a dual desire to share it and to relish it. Do more of the former and have no regrets.

Your confidence in handling your love life has and shall always be impressive. Have no shame in your forthrightness. Be as bold as you were, be as strong as you can. Remember how many bullets you dodged in the past, in the way of unreliable lovers? Keep it going. Keep your heart protected.

On that note it is AMAZING that you remained chaste through all the years. I told you it wasn't worth it anyway. And i'm sure the joy you experienced during your honeymoon (It was in Peru yes?) was as justified as ever.

And your husband.....give it all in...show him everything. Tell him how many nights you fantasised about him, tell him how long you yearned. Tell him about your favourite love stories, take him to Galway, watch PS I love you with him, tell him about Gerry and Holly, listen to Ronald Keating , and tell him how you cried the first time you watched the notebook. You always were a romantic..show him that. With time he will truly understand.

Tell mummy thank you as often as you can. She was right about everything...you cannot imagine.

And call you friends too. Be there for everything. Watch Catherine deliver her first baby, watch her perform her first surgery. Surprise Tujo with an amazing baby shower, visit Beatrice all the time. Do not spare your love, they have been loyal to you forever. Remember Laertes said to Polonius- "Those friends thou hast and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul like hoops of steel.

Do everything you promised, Leave no stone unturned. It is not enough that you composed a first class thesis on institutional racism within the english criminal justice system. Follow through. Correct it. Make the right changes everywhere.

Move back to Nigeria at some point. Yes...it it has to be done. There is so much waiting there for you do. Pay your dues. Perhaps finally run for political office? It wasn't that dangerous after all.

And if you have kids pass down your passion to them. Let them read Achebe, let them fall in love with our history. Sustain them with your wisdom, direct them with your diligence.

Cherish you four older siblings even more as the years go by. They really did make a lot of sacrifices.

Go back to Europe. There really is so much history to be learned from there. Visit more museums, go to more monuments. 

Remember the many miracles that God bestowed on you. Never leave him, never doubt him. He came through then, he will come through again.

With Love,

Duby (2017 version).

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