My Creative Process

(NB: intended to be read with the music, not after (if you can). Usually if I link a song, that's what I'm going for).

Dear Friends,

I cannot stress enough, how connected all art is for me, in particular: music, dance, and literature.

More often than not, my art begins with a bud of inspiration from music. Certain songs just have an automatic, almost visceral response from my body that elicits feelings so strong, they demand to be made whole. Initially, my body shuts down as the music soars through, becoming part of me. Every hair buzzes, as I radiate the notes from my very core to a song which seems to play from within. In my inner eye, without much thought, I see a story that plays perfectly to its new soundtrack.

Here, the story changes with the music, and not the other way round. Sometimes I am the protagonist, other times only a bystander. Each time, however, I am entirely invested in the outcome. At this point, I am likely to start dancing. The sound within me now comes without, searching for some immediate expression. No matter the genre, I'll dance.

After playing the song a good five times or so, I start to feel like I've sufficiently embodied the spirit of the piece. It's that spirit that help me keep the mood as I write. Sometimes, I'll play the song over and over again until I'm done. And when I'm through, I'll read over it with the same track, to see if what I've written compliments what I feel. Serious editing takes place much later.

Many say books are amazing because they give you the rare opportunity to live life much more than once. I say the same for a good song, a good dance, a good performance.

Stay inspired,

Cathy.

Dear Little Cathy

Hi Guys!

It's been a while, huh. Gosh- I've been really swamped with work and stuff....but who cares?

Anyway, so today I saw this picture and it really struck me: What would I tell Little Cathy if I could go back in time. Well I'm still trying to get back into the blogging form...so bear with me as I list some things I'd like little me to know:

1) Don't get so stressed out over little things: Like seriously Cathy- you're actually smart, kind, and pretty- you don't need to beat yourself over every piece of homework set, or every test you fail. I know it's hard for you to ignore other people's feelings but try not to let their bad moods bring you down. And stop second- guessing you're looks- it's obvious you'll turn out ok( that is, after you pass that awkward stage around 10-12 when your ears and nose are really big- just givin' you a heads up!)

2) Fruit- Get into the habit of eating fruit, because it really pays off when you get older. Now you have 3 rotting apples on your desk from attempting to force yourself to eat them- congratulations.

3) Don't feel bad about the teasing of you're height or dance skills- you actually ended up being pretty good at it- boo yah, sister and family who made fun of you! And as for you're height- well, it's a blessing and a curse.

4) Force your parents to have taught you the essentials by the age of 10:
- your native language
- a foreign language
- to play a musical instrument- preferably piano or guitar.
Because if not, you are going to end up feeling pretty inadequate when you get into an international school for geniuses, with 7year-old 'grade 8' pianists and friends who have mastered 4 different languages.

5) Ballet!: You really should tone-down the tom-boy thing you'll have going for most of your childhood- it will be so much fun if  you join your sister in ballet, and a lot cooler than what you're doing now- which is prancing around the house on you're tip-toes like a prat.

6) Quick one here: In the summer of '09 you will be trusted with an envelope containing a certain sum of money in a foreign currency- DO NOT, i repeat, NOT, leave it on your lap in the car, fall asleep, then wake up and jump out of the car without looking.

7) Keep in touch: You live a life where you're constantly travelling, experencing new cultures, meeting new people and leaving old ones behind. Take full advantage of this, and also stay in contact with those awesome friends- some of them are the best people you'll ever meet!

8) Filming: Get into the habit of taking videos, and get a videocam early too- you're going to be obsessing a lot over the cool ideas you'd like to bring to life, but just don't know how.

9) Guys: Hmmm....sorry Cathy- I guess I'm still just no good at them, eh? Which is probably where I should start from: get a guy best friend or rather keep the guy best friend that you will meet on the first day of kindergarten in a certain East-African country. That would probably really solve alot of the dilemmas you currently face in understanding the cold, dangerous darklands of the teenage-boy psyche. It may also lead to you guys....well- I'll just let you find out that one ;)

10) Popularity: Just want you to know that you did the right thing by staying true to yourself. It may not always look the most appealing side to take, but it's totally worth it in the end.

11) Family: Hold on to your family like nothing else. I mean it! You love them now, and always will, but remembering just how much you love them when your constantly bickering with them, at that young age little kids do, would really save a lot of potential hurt. Also you must stick with your siblings like 'stickyglue' and defend them no matter who or what tries to blur your vision.
Remember, like 'Brother's Garcias' ( you love that show ps It'll be taken off air soon so don't get too attached) ' Doro para familia'  (or something like that).

Everything for the family.

Cathy

The mystery of music

Music is so powerful, like a thousand thoughts and emotions fighting for your attention. its almost like you are coming closer to something you only imagined, and yet it is still so far away. Only few can conceive the depth of written work, of composed tunes. men like Ludwig Van Beethoven and Sebastian Bach could only scratch the surface- and yet see how deep they went. look how much talent they exhibited.

When I hear a good song, it is almost like someone just whispered a secret in my ear and ran away just as quick- there is a lust to hear more, and yet you can never hear enough. You sill long absorb enough of the words to put you at rest.  In many ways music is the language of the soul- the part of us that none can stab or kill. That is why it has to be heartfelt and only few can be fortunate enough to produce it.

Contemporary artistes have made some progress in this respect- cold play's 'viva la vida' is a legend in many ways ranging from the beautiful beats (piano) to the articulate words which would  mean different things to many people. The phrase 'viva la vida' literally means 'death and all his friends' but it is a many flavoured song- each taste leaving the trace of a mystery to be solved.

We hear so many songs everyday that I believe if we put them together they tell a story about life. And this is why I say that music is the language of the soul- because it is how we humans communicate when words have failed us and passion overwhelms us.

Duby

Will things be the same next time we meet?

To begin this post, I'd like to start off with a song reference ( as I often do :) ).
In the words of Biffy Clyro's 'Many of horror' (song inserted below for the 'interested and lazy'):

When we collide we come together

If we don't we'll always be apart

I'll take a bruise; I know you're worth it

When you hit me hit me hard

So...

In many ways I find these lyrics profound, and in some ways, relevant to me. It's all about being in love with someone who is technically 'bad for you'. Although with this song, its more about an abusive relationship either emotionally, physically, etc, I can identify falling for someone when you know 'it' will never work out, and will inevitably end up hurting you ( get my drift now?) .

Often I find myself doing this, albeit on a far smaller scale, and to a lesser extent. And I won't call what I feel/felt 'love' per se, but attraction of varying intensities.

I was thinking of going into specifics initially, but have decided against it.
Presently, I feel this way for a few guys(really few okay!) at the same time- all of varying degrees, and subject to change at any point. Yes, I do think we can all feel this way about the opposite sex at times- feelings are really hard to deal with, especially when young.

And funny enough, with all of them I have the same problem. We're never around each other for too long. But when we're together its great and despite all the fluctuations there's still this level of permanency that I do like them that way. And I can't wait to see them, but life happens and I can't be near any of them. And with each of them is something unique about who they are, but also something so obviously 'wrong' about the relationship itself, that shouldn't work.

Yet I still find myself wishing it would.

Arrgh- I doubt I'm making much sense, so I guess I'll just end this with a quote that may or may not explain what I'm feeling...
 Actually this time I have a couple:

'I've learned that there are people that truly love you, but they just don't know how to show it'


'Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you... and I wish on a star that somewhere you're thinking of me, too'




'I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have.'

Anyone else in my boat?

Cathy.

The bold and the beautiful

There is something about poetry that is amazing. Every day we speak words that we never know the value of. when you mix and match two very dissimilar words both serving one purpose the moment is alive and the sound is as sweet as a thousand drums being played in symphony. But there is something about a writer that is concealed, you cannot write so much without thinking so deep. Still we might only ever get to write a millionth of what we think, And I guess that is why sometimes you do not need to have a complete  story...just a line that will lead the way to others.

When I write I am telling a secret that is still a secret because you can never fully comprehend in much the same way that you cannot ask a bird to describe its adventures. But you can still look up at the sky and marvel at its flight because that is what life is about; unanswered questions, unhindered thoughts, and wild hints that guide us through.

I will always encourage a person to write what they think rather than say it. That to me is the fundamental difference between a novel and speech. One is a moment, the other is eternity .And yet both are an outlet, built upon the same emotions and that same inspiration. It is just that the speech maker was brave while the writer was valiant....playing even his last piece if that is what he needed to protect his king and capture his opponent....willing to give all to keep one. Perfecting the house to the last brick.

Some write and some speak- some are bold and some are beautiful. some are old and some are wise  But we have the same intention; we carve the footsteps we want others to step in.

Duby.

Beautiful Irony

Its amazing how in life we meet so many people whom we would never know. Billions of people walk the earth, the common ground  we share and yet we would never be able to know who are they are. We might see them but that is mostly as far as we would ever get because we are all sourjourners in this journey that is defined as life.

They all walked along the curb each in deep thought or subdued silence
Sometimes their shoulders brushed against the next, sometimes they felt the presence of another
The streets were rowdy yet there was a silence that no one could hear
The symphony of their  footsteps made a tune, sang a melody of purpose
They looked to the sun, they felt the brightness of day
But the light that shone from the faces and hearts of those around them was was more luminous
Yet it was unnoticed, no one could see it, any sense of what was around them was amiss

They say life is an interesting journey, they say it is a never ending pain
I say life is a beautiful irony, but also one we would never figure
for we walk the same footsteps of those that preceded us
And we create a light for those who would come after us
But as we search for light and hope all the necessities for our existence
Never once do we notice the others
Those that walk beside us, those that creep behind us
We are lost in this hurry
We all sourjourn in this quest we've defined as life

Duby.

Some thoughts

Oh the perils of being too young
But 'far-too-old!' to play and sleep

They drive us night and day
like herds of cattle, forced to read

'Look to your future 'ole girl', he'd hiss
'I wish, old man'- he'd never guess- 'and leave just all of this'

Because then I'm seated in First Class first
A night, a new country- for a new day

And round my neck, expensive glass
A doting man would wave my way

I'd speak of things that'd help the world
And strategies to change Her ways

And when I'd have them by the rope,
Like Ghandi, raise my hands in hope

For now though, I realise
This wooden desk will suffice

And these glamorous wooden dolls,
Will lend me a silent applause.

-Cathy

Going with the herd

Its amazing how nowadays being different is so absurd. Ive always felt that it was more of a challenge and possibly more normal to want to go against the 'mainstream'(As ironic as this is). And that way you can at least lay the foundation for a claim to be unique. As far as the rules of engagement go nothing says that we cannot make a complete sentence on a chat page without using slangs or shortening our words. (Not that I am detached from this accusation).

This is however a minute part of the problem or what I like to call a folly of the electronic age. People are more driven to gadgets and technology than they are to the people around them and there is a rapid loss of the understanding of what is important. As times keeping changing we keep redefining what we once called our 'values' and our 'beliefs' Its almost as if we do not want to be left out of the picture while also  trying to be the ones to capture the image. I guess what most people do not understand is that in order for you to hold onto yourself you have to let go of who you want others to see and concentrate on what you need to do to be who you want to be. We need to stop listening to mainstream music and maybe question what exactly it is in the lyrics that gets us, that makes us so attached. We need to ignore what fashion says we should wear and and maybe consider what kind of image we think defines our character.. ..A flowing gown or a pair of jeans? A cap or a hat? In regards to the issue of relationships maybe we should not focus so much on getting rid of the loneliness and embrace the people around us that make us happy. After all is said and done what is the point of life if we are not enthusiastic?

You only have only one shot at life so make it count. One day try to be leave the herd and form your own. Be your own shepherd.

Duby

I am soo excited about turning 18.....but i dont know how to celebrate

Dear Readers/followers,

I am sooo excited about turning 18!! (birthday is July 3rd) even though i dont know how i am going to celebrate or if my best friend(who's also my co blogger- cathy) will be around.But ive been to student forums to  read up on things that people do when they turn 18. I have to admit people are sooo funny and creative. My best options so far have been these ones:

1.   Go paintballing or orbing with your friends

2.   Go on a track day and drive supercars such as the Audi R8, Ferrari F360 and the Aston Martin

3.   Get your hair cut, nails done or just have a relaxing massage

4.   Go on a ghost hunt!

5.   Go on a Superbreak

6.   Go see your favourite comedian, band or artist in concert

7.   Visit Cadbury World and see how that delicious chocolate is made

8.   Go on a House Of Fraser personal shopping trip

9.   Treat yourself to a theatre package

10.  Do some skydiving or try your hand at some other extreme sports

11.  Find out what deals are on in your city today and over your birthday

12.  Have a Superbreak

13.  Go on a hot air balloon flight

14.  Get a group of mates and go Go Karting

15.  If you love football then why not go and see your favourite team play at home or away or go on a stadium tour.

16.  Treat yourself to a makeover with the girlies and drink complimentary Buckz Fizz whilst your there

17.  Have a birthday bowling session with your family and friends

18.  Go for a tour of your favourite football team's stadium

19.  Celebrate in a local nighclub with your friends

20.  Why not get a tattoo now that you are legally of age?

21.  Attempt visiting 18 bars/clubs/pubs for your 18th do

22.  Kiss 18 boys/girls (whatever tickles your fancy!)

23.  Go on a spa day or weekend

24.  Go ape!

25.  Look around for a wicked leisure centre with loads of slides to go to

26.  Watch the latest movie at your local cinema

27.  Organise the local paper to feature the persons birthday and photo in the special announcements section

28.  Go to a sushi restaurant

29.  Go to Nandos, Zizzi, Pizza Express etc for a nice but inexpensive meal

30.  Have a group hot tub with nibbles and drinks

31.  Have a game of golf against your friends

32.  Go to a casino.

33.  Go to your local Gala for a game of Bingo with your friends

34.  Go skydiving if you're feeling brave

35.  Go for a professional photoshoot with friends or family

36.  Go and see an IMAX film

37.  Go to the zoo

38.  Propose to the one you love with some great proposal ideas

39.  Go skiing or snowboarding

40.  Go swimming with dolphins

41.  Go travelling

42.  See a clairvoyant and get your future and/or past read

43.  Go to the seaside for the day

44.  Go on a all day bender with your mates

45.  Go out clubbing

46.  Go to a festival with a load of your mates

47.  Go to M and D's theme park in Scotland for the day

48.  Order an indian, a chinese or some sushi to eat with friends and family

49.  Go Glamping (Luxurious camping)

50.  go to an amusement park! ( Thorpe park!!)

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

 I must admit some of them are quite eccentric. But nothing is ever too odd if it will put a smile to your face.  I know not everyone takes birthdays seriously but ive such a perfect vision of my birthday since forever.....whether or not that will be the reality is a different case. Who knows what tomorrow brings? Girls just wanna have fun as cyndi lauper sang. wish me luck xx.

Duby

why i love Chimamanda; author of half of a yellow sun

Chimamanda is a writer and a sociologist who is Nigerian.  She is the famous writer of a very famous african novel called 'half of a yellow sun'
the book is based primarily on a young house boy called Ugwu and the way he matures from boy to man  in light of the civil war that was taking place at the time. His master is a math professor called, Odenigbo. Odenigbo is quite an eccentric character, very fierce in his views and passionate about the political stance he has on the affairs of Nigeria at the time.
Other central characters in the book are Olannna and her twin Kainene; the two are as fraternal as they come. the former being weaker in character the fairer of face. The former posessing a very sardonic view of life and though described as 'ugly' her character is strong. The twins are from a very wealthy family and they are not united in any other way apart from the fact that they share the same birthday. A central character in Olanna's life is her Aunty, Ifeka, who breast fed her and Kainene at infancy,  Olanna holds an open regret that Aunty Ifeka is not her actual mother.
Olanna is Odegnigbo's girlfriend and Kainene has a white boyfriend called Richard.

Now I appreciate the fact that not everyone is interested in literature. But i believe that this book is a good read for anyone; no matter your intellectual maturity or literal passion. It presents a simple yet detailed and realistic view of the biafran war which forms a central part of Nigeria's history. The war is presented as battle, a means of initiation into the bitter reality of life and adulthood ( particularly for those characters who experienced it in their early adolescent years). But above all, it serves to bond the relationships  of characters who were apart (especially in the case of the twins).

The plot climaxes at different points which makes the story line unique. Richard writes some chapters titled, ' the world was silent when we died' from the perspestive of how he had felt the war and the experiences that helped him understand the cause.  As we progress through the book we come across many lines that only a sociologist could have come up with; someone who is in tune with the workings of society and the way humans think as an integral whole. The valiance that Chiamamanda Ngozi Adichie portrays in the biafran soldiers would never be better explained than  by the following line, 'Before I came to Biafra I heard that Biafrans fought like heroes but after my visit to Biafra I can tell you that heroes fight like Biafrans' by the french ambassador in response to the valiance he experienced first hand.

Perhaps the ultimate suspense is at the end when we are unsure whether olanna's twin, Kainenen, is dead or not. Chimamanda leaves that piece of information for us to decide; it depends on whether it affects your view of the book. kainene could be alive or dead. It depends on which ending suits the reader.
At the end of the last chapter the ultimate shock is given. The last line reveals to us what we knew but could not know for sure. here the person from whoes perspective the book is written is revealed. it is the loyal house boy Ugwu (or 'my good man' as odenigbo calls him). And as ugwu writes his dedication last it reads, 'for master, my good man.'

only you can determine your happiness

I am someone who keeps memories very carefully. I dont believe that anything that happens under the sun should go un remembered..but i have also come to realise that in life we really only have what is between hello and goodbye. So quite ironically we are bound to be hurt. To be crushed and to be lonely once in a while. But what many people do not realise is that only you have the key to your happiness. Do not wait for people to make you smile, smile because there is hope. Dont wait for people to make you laugh either, laugh because it is the sweetest sound you will hear in life.

As i grow I begin to understand more and more that i do not have to be happy because other people are happy with me. I am happy because I live and and with each heart beat I am reminded that I have a mission to accomplish.

Duby

Follow? ;)

Dear guys,
Not that I stalk or anything, but I have noticed an increase in the number and variety of page views lately. Of course I am ecstatic( Sri Lanka? Germany? Wow).

And even though we only have 4 followers, I know that some people still read this anyway- just without subscribing or commenting.

But it would still be nice, anyway, if some of you subscribe just to let me know you're even vaguely interested in what we write. It would just be a little encouraging- and we would really appreciate it.

Even if you CAN  read all our posts without subscribing-we would really like you too anyway.

Or, even( and I'm just throwing this out there) possibly comment?

Well, either way we'll still be here writing for you, and for us.

Sincerely,
Cathy

Things I'll never know...

Dear all,
During my childhood, I did a lot of travelling. I've spent long periods of time( 2 years minimum) in a variety of countries, across continents.
For most part, I love the life I've lived. The different cultures I've experienced all formed some unique part of me, that makes me such an open-minded, diverse being, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

HOWEVER, that doesn't mean there aren't any nuances that come with the life. Recently, I was flashing through pictures of old friends from when I was younger- most of which I have very little relationship with now, because we were far too young when we'd met to keep in touch( basically, before Facebook had peaked amongst 8-yr olds).

And as I skipped through each album, clear-cut memories of different faces, friendships, experiences, and moments soared through my mind- all with a strange mix of happiness, humour, and sadness). I though I'd share them with you:

Have you ever found yourself wandering about the things that never were, are now, and could be?

• I wonder what ever happened to Ahmed?
• I wonder how Rose and Henry broke up?- did they ever go out?
• I wonder if Ido ever learned English properly? Now that I think of it- I don't think it was only language that was the underlying problem in the way he communicated.
• Did Yodi find someone else?
• Did Yabseera- after the countless days of silent( and unnecessary) competition- finally win Yodi over?
• And what ever happened to Adam? And the summer of my 15th birthday, when we first flirted innocently, after years of playful teasing at family holidays?
• I heard he sailed a boat round the world one summer, by the look of things- it did him well.
• I wonder if Lilay kept on acting- if the years below acted out the same play we had starred the leads in- Pandora and her Greek-god husband?
• I hope he's forgiven me for being so openly upset that it was he, not Yodi who got the part.
• And how did Rose end up with that quarter-back type alpha male guy of hers? Don't know why I thought it was never her type.
• Timid 'new-girl', Asma, too- spread her wings and flown. I wish I'd been there to watch her grow.
• And Benjamin(Yodi's best friend) whose actually Bemnet- did I really mistake his name all those years?
• He was always the one who listened, who took me seriously- even at that age when girls had cooties and boys smelt bad.
• And I'd never noticed him- the mellow, thoughtful best friend.
• Was it Bemnet,not Yodi, all along?

-Cathy

I've noticed a pattern.....

Dear peeps,
scrolling through previous posts i can't help but notice that the vast majority of mine happen to be love-related.
And honestly, I find that kinda sad.

I'm actually not that love-obsessed, honestly.

No seriously- I mean it.

Anyway, today I had a get together with my long-time friend, and co-owner of this blog- Duby!
All the while we were together i could only think of Peaches and Herb's Reunited, playing in the background slow-mo style.


It was so great catching up, and it felt like we'd never missed a beat.
I don't care what anyone says- with some people, distance doesn't mean a thing.

Love,
Cathy

Music

How do you explain

The effect a piece of music can have on you? The power in the notes that are played?

How is it possible that a group of musical notes can come together and touch your soul so profoundly that for a moment you can just barely breathe.

That the notes have arrested you, you cannot speak.

The emotion it fills you with can be so strong, and so amazing.

There are just some compositions I hear that stop me; they strike me so. When I hear them, I hear a story, I feel the emotions, and the character's come to life- character's i have never known. But at that moment, I am one with them- I am them- as they lend me a part of their soul.

It's so hard to explain, and probably even more difficult for you to understand me, but that is just how I feel.

It's beautiful. So beautiful.

-Cathy

Random

Sometimes guys, this gets me so much...
I cant explain it...
This is me

-Cathy

On Fairy tales and the Human Heart

I may believe in fairytales but I'm not a dreamer.
When did believing in true love become such an oddity?
And why?

17years now and I still know he's out there. I have no proof of this. I have dated no one. The few guys I have liked, they have never known. The few that have liked me, it could never be.

But still I'm sure

I believe this not because of some out-of-touch sense of destiny, or some belief that one day he'll appear on my doorstep and it'll be happily ever after.

I believe this because, i'll make it happen.
And by that, I don't just mean that I'll do all the work. Instead, I'll find the guy who wants it too. The guy whose willing to make it work.

And I'll give him a love without games. I'll be myself knowing that that should be enough- because I know what I am worth.

But most of all, I'll pray.
I think alot of times, we forget the beauty of loving freely, no holding back. I want that, and I know somewhere, he wants it too.

We'll make our own fairytale

Sincerely,

Cathy

The rebirth

Its been such a long time since we've written anything on our blog. So just a reminder, the co founders and owners of this blog are Cathy and Duby. We've gone so far since our last blog post. Right now we both have left high school and are working towards university! its not like we are not in school right now ( for those inquisitive few who are wondering), its just that we are doing A levels and you know...thats not university. Anyways this post is what i call the rebirth because it is a prelude to all other interesting and inspirational posts that are to follow. Stay tuned.

whats the last thing you think about before you go to sleep?

My views on life constantly change based on my experiences in life.
My views on love constantly change mostly based on the movies I watch, and things I read.Unfortunately, I dont have much to say now, so this will be quite short. Recently, I read that the person you have feelings for is the last thing that crosses your mind each night before you sleep.
I wonder how many people agree with that saying.
- Cathy

MUSIC!
listen to 'just a dream' by Nelly!!!!!!!!!
Has a song ever just caught you off guard in the middle of doing something? This one hit me like a tornado. And it got me thinking about life, love, and everything. And then it just hit me that songs actually depict life. The sometimes cheesy beats, corny lyrics, and cliche titles are just are a part of what we think about unconsciously when we are sad. Like just yesterday i was listening to 'coat of many colors' by Dolly Parton and i realized that country music is soul food, and nothing beats alternative rock. Like check out 'viva la Vida' by cold play for example. isn't that song just amazing. The lines, the mad beat, the history, the depth. You do not even have to like music to love that song. All you need is ears! Anyways if you have ever listened to a song and felt captivated please feel free to share. Music is life!