My Creative Process

(NB: intended to be read with the music, not after (if you can). Usually if I link a song, that's what I'm going for).

Dear Friends,

I cannot stress enough, how connected all art is for me, in particular: music, dance, and literature.

More often than not, my art begins with a bud of inspiration from music. Certain songs just have an automatic, almost visceral response from my body that elicits feelings so strong, they demand to be made whole. Initially, my body shuts down as the music soars through, becoming part of me. Every hair buzzes, as I radiate the notes from my very core to a song which seems to play from within. In my inner eye, without much thought, I see a story that plays perfectly to its new soundtrack.

Here, the story changes with the music, and not the other way round. Sometimes I am the protagonist, other times only a bystander. Each time, however, I am entirely invested in the outcome. At this point, I am likely to start dancing. The sound within me now comes without, searching for some immediate expression. No matter the genre, I'll dance.

After playing the song a good five times or so, I start to feel like I've sufficiently embodied the spirit of the piece. It's that spirit that help me keep the mood as I write. Sometimes, I'll play the song over and over again until I'm done. And when I'm through, I'll read over it with the same track, to see if what I've written compliments what I feel. Serious editing takes place much later.

Many say books are amazing because they give you the rare opportunity to live life much more than once. I say the same for a good song, a good dance, a good performance.

Stay inspired,

Cathy.

Dear Little Cathy

Hi Guys!

It's been a while, huh. Gosh- I've been really swamped with work and stuff....but who cares?

Anyway, so today I saw this picture and it really struck me: What would I tell Little Cathy if I could go back in time. Well I'm still trying to get back into the blogging form...so bear with me as I list some things I'd like little me to know:

1) Don't get so stressed out over little things: Like seriously Cathy- you're actually smart, kind, and pretty- you don't need to beat yourself over every piece of homework set, or every test you fail. I know it's hard for you to ignore other people's feelings but try not to let their bad moods bring you down. And stop second- guessing you're looks- it's obvious you'll turn out ok( that is, after you pass that awkward stage around 10-12 when your ears and nose are really big- just givin' you a heads up!)

2) Fruit- Get into the habit of eating fruit, because it really pays off when you get older. Now you have 3 rotting apples on your desk from attempting to force yourself to eat them- congratulations.

3) Don't feel bad about the teasing of you're height or dance skills- you actually ended up being pretty good at it- boo yah, sister and family who made fun of you! And as for you're height- well, it's a blessing and a curse.

4) Force your parents to have taught you the essentials by the age of 10:
- your native language
- a foreign language
- to play a musical instrument- preferably piano or guitar.
Because if not, you are going to end up feeling pretty inadequate when you get into an international school for geniuses, with 7year-old 'grade 8' pianists and friends who have mastered 4 different languages.

5) Ballet!: You really should tone-down the tom-boy thing you'll have going for most of your childhood- it will be so much fun if  you join your sister in ballet, and a lot cooler than what you're doing now- which is prancing around the house on you're tip-toes like a prat.

6) Quick one here: In the summer of '09 you will be trusted with an envelope containing a certain sum of money in a foreign currency- DO NOT, i repeat, NOT, leave it on your lap in the car, fall asleep, then wake up and jump out of the car without looking.

7) Keep in touch: You live a life where you're constantly travelling, experencing new cultures, meeting new people and leaving old ones behind. Take full advantage of this, and also stay in contact with those awesome friends- some of them are the best people you'll ever meet!

8) Filming: Get into the habit of taking videos, and get a videocam early too- you're going to be obsessing a lot over the cool ideas you'd like to bring to life, but just don't know how.

9) Guys: Hmmm....sorry Cathy- I guess I'm still just no good at them, eh? Which is probably where I should start from: get a guy best friend or rather keep the guy best friend that you will meet on the first day of kindergarten in a certain East-African country. That would probably really solve alot of the dilemmas you currently face in understanding the cold, dangerous darklands of the teenage-boy psyche. It may also lead to you guys....well- I'll just let you find out that one ;)

10) Popularity: Just want you to know that you did the right thing by staying true to yourself. It may not always look the most appealing side to take, but it's totally worth it in the end.

11) Family: Hold on to your family like nothing else. I mean it! You love them now, and always will, but remembering just how much you love them when your constantly bickering with them, at that young age little kids do, would really save a lot of potential hurt. Also you must stick with your siblings like 'stickyglue' and defend them no matter who or what tries to blur your vision.
Remember, like 'Brother's Garcias' ( you love that show ps It'll be taken off air soon so don't get too attached) ' Doro para familia'  (or something like that).

Everything for the family.

Cathy

Beautiful Irony

Its amazing how in life we meet so many people whom we would never know. Billions of people walk the earth, the common ground  we share and yet we would never be able to know who are they are. We might see them but that is mostly as far as we would ever get because we are all sourjourners in this journey that is defined as life.

They all walked along the curb each in deep thought or subdued silence
Sometimes their shoulders brushed against the next, sometimes they felt the presence of another
The streets were rowdy yet there was a silence that no one could hear
The symphony of their  footsteps made a tune, sang a melody of purpose
They looked to the sun, they felt the brightness of day
But the light that shone from the faces and hearts of those around them was was more luminous
Yet it was unnoticed, no one could see it, any sense of what was around them was amiss

They say life is an interesting journey, they say it is a never ending pain
I say life is a beautiful irony, but also one we would never figure
for we walk the same footsteps of those that preceded us
And we create a light for those who would come after us
But as we search for light and hope all the necessities for our existence
Never once do we notice the others
Those that walk beside us, those that creep behind us
We are lost in this hurry
We all sourjourn in this quest we've defined as life

Duby.

On Helping People

Ola Friends!
Ok so this will be a very short post as there TONNES to read on the site I'll be redirecting you to- so hold on to your keyboards peeps!

So there's this charity I am apart of called Living Stories Foundation- and it is involved with the publishing of short stories of children living in harder conditions of life- poverty, abuse, trafficking etc. And here's the catch: the stories are ALL written by the children themselves!

The charity was founded and is run by high-school students themselves, which is just MIND-BLOWING!

It seeks to empower the children it helps. To not speak on behalf of the children it serves, as most children charities to do. Rather, to enable their own voices be heard. All funds generated from the sales of these short stories collections go back to helping the children themselves, and reaching out and aiding others in conditions similar to them.

However, it is a relatively new charity- and needs all our help to get it off the ground.

That's where you all can help:

1) Share this post with all your friends, family, and associates. Raising Awareness is one of the major goals of Living Stories Foundation (ie through its publications). They need all the publicity they can get!

2) Visit their site @ http://livingstoriesfoundation.blogspot.co.uk/ for more information on how to take an active part in realising their project.

3) Or contact them directly at:  livingstoriesfoundation@gmail.com to show your support for what they do, and for the effort the KIDS themselves put into writing those stories- it can't be easy.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!!

Love always,
CATHY.

only you can determine your happiness

I am someone who keeps memories very carefully. I dont believe that anything that happens under the sun should go un remembered..but i have also come to realise that in life we really only have what is between hello and goodbye. So quite ironically we are bound to be hurt. To be crushed and to be lonely once in a while. But what many people do not realise is that only you have the key to your happiness. Do not wait for people to make you smile, smile because there is hope. Dont wait for people to make you laugh either, laugh because it is the sweetest sound you will hear in life.

As i grow I begin to understand more and more that i do not have to be happy because other people are happy with me. I am happy because I live and and with each heart beat I am reminded that I have a mission to accomplish.

Duby

Things I'll never know...

Dear all,
During my childhood, I did a lot of travelling. I've spent long periods of time( 2 years minimum) in a variety of countries, across continents.
For most part, I love the life I've lived. The different cultures I've experienced all formed some unique part of me, that makes me such an open-minded, diverse being, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

HOWEVER, that doesn't mean there aren't any nuances that come with the life. Recently, I was flashing through pictures of old friends from when I was younger- most of which I have very little relationship with now, because we were far too young when we'd met to keep in touch( basically, before Facebook had peaked amongst 8-yr olds).

And as I skipped through each album, clear-cut memories of different faces, friendships, experiences, and moments soared through my mind- all with a strange mix of happiness, humour, and sadness). I though I'd share them with you:

Have you ever found yourself wandering about the things that never were, are now, and could be?

• I wonder what ever happened to Ahmed?
• I wonder how Rose and Henry broke up?- did they ever go out?
• I wonder if Ido ever learned English properly? Now that I think of it- I don't think it was only language that was the underlying problem in the way he communicated.
• Did Yodi find someone else?
• Did Yabseera- after the countless days of silent( and unnecessary) competition- finally win Yodi over?
• And what ever happened to Adam? And the summer of my 15th birthday, when we first flirted innocently, after years of playful teasing at family holidays?
• I heard he sailed a boat round the world one summer, by the look of things- it did him well.
• I wonder if Lilay kept on acting- if the years below acted out the same play we had starred the leads in- Pandora and her Greek-god husband?
• I hope he's forgiven me for being so openly upset that it was he, not Yodi who got the part.
• And how did Rose end up with that quarter-back type alpha male guy of hers? Don't know why I thought it was never her type.
• Timid 'new-girl', Asma, too- spread her wings and flown. I wish I'd been there to watch her grow.
• And Benjamin(Yodi's best friend) whose actually Bemnet- did I really mistake his name all those years?
• He was always the one who listened, who took me seriously- even at that age when girls had cooties and boys smelt bad.
• And I'd never noticed him- the mellow, thoughtful best friend.
• Was it Bemnet,not Yodi, all along?

-Cathy

Smile because you are young

Today is children's day!

Im wishing all children around the world a happy day during which they should live and be happy. Nowadays people forget the importance of youth; what i refer to as the folly of the 21st century. when I was a child i watched totally different cartoons that reflected innocence and the type of imagination that only children can appreciate. I laughed because I was without a care and I smiled because the ones I loved were near. Anyways nowadays people get so engrossed in social networks, electonic devices and video games, that they forget the joy of simplicity in tastes and fashion. Of not having to be defined by what you do or own.

If you are reading this and you suddenly remember how happy you were to watch the flinstones as a child, to read fairytales, and how uninterested you were about what type of shoes you had on then smile because it means you were once young and you have lived!

-Duby

Friends!
So I've written this poem a while ago, but no one seems to understand what it means. The things is, when I had written it I never intended for it to be extremely literal, and for the whole context to be understood. In general, when I write, I write for readers to experience the beauty of language, words and sounds. To experience different ways words can be arranged to produce a  great effect; for others to feel what I feel when I am inspired.


Anyway, here is the poem. In light if the previous post I wrote, On the Universality of faith and Religion, here is the poem based on it. Please enjoy. I hope you now understand.
-Cathy

Sweet disposition

Images fleeting into pools of reds, and greys and blues

Melting into light, pure light

So much so that eyes are helpless with no power of their own

But widened and gaping, lids pressed hard against.

It was hard to notice the icy cold of the screen

That scalded my scarce- touched cheeks

Even harder, I do think,

To acknowledge the silence of the freight within.

 One last glimpse of the grey blue skies around

And the magic of the stillness and stunning beyond

and the awesome feeling that we were “more”

Having stared at the smallness of life on the ground.

Then, with a jolt, I faced within

Did wonder whether I was alone in seeing this

Found only the same within the room

That silence and power, those greys and blues.

The ice beauty there did stop my heart

and soon my tongue humbled

And as the shadows outside skilfully crept through creeks

 Embraced the breathing, alighted the peace.

A movement in the near-dark

A moment of awareness

Pulsing ears and hearts, never breaking the silence

A boy.

Of angels, and nature, and something –and God

In hushes and murmurings, not a whisper above

But the electric blue of the jolts that did pass through

Had his eyes hue, and gave courage, new.

And only for now could we exist like this:

Two colours, beliefs, genders, and wishes

Mutual amazement at a spirit found less in few,

A black almost grey, a white almost blue.

On the Universality of Faith and Religion

Dear Friends,

I believe that life can put us in the strangest situations, and that some of these little things that happen at the most unexpected of moments, can touch our lives forever.

I am riding on a train at the beginning of Winter, heading my own way. The sky and clouds- the view- is picturesque so calm and still, and icy blue as the evening turns to night. The silence of outside refelects the silence within the train, and no one speaks because of its beauty. But if you listened well, you would hear muffled discussion and hushed tones like the whispers of love.

And I in silence, gaze out the window in amazement of the beauty of creation. And I can’t help notice the boy, quiet, sitting across from me. I don’t know what it is...that is, his face that caught me. And somehow I know he’s different, in that way one’s soul- the inner-most sacred being within- jumps for joy inexplicably. Immediately, I know I like him. So we talk and talk, at first uncertain and polite. But somehow time passes from minutes to hours, and the two strangers on the train so quiet; their voices breaking the cool silence of the train.

The Muslim boy from Palestine.

The Christian girl from Nigeria.

And though they are worlds apart, there has been no one closer. Kindred spirits in a foreign country with no faith. And after months of not hearing about religion,and feeling isolated in faith, he says to her:

‘ I don’t understand it. I never have. How people can go on day by day, believing in nothing”

Her eyes soften and she replies:

‘I know right? I mean, hypothetically speaking even if there were no God, what harm does it to believe ?’

‘...to have someone to come too in trust and love unconditional’

‘But as for me, I know He lives’, each said .

And before I knew it, the train ride was over- a train ride before that seemed time endless. And we were off on our own paths, our different worlds. And though, he may one day forget this, I remember it always. For at that point, he was my soul mate, and the spirit of God was there in that train...

I was just fortunate to be aware of it.

What I am trying to say is this:

People of faith, all faith- be it Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Judaism, or Sikh – we are all connected in that we believe. It is one GOD we serve, we are all His children.

Then why, dear friends, do we continue to emphasize the little things that make us different?

Some call him God, some call him Allah- but a different name doesn’t have to mean a different being. And what is human language when concerned with the affairs of the spirit?

Therefore, friends, we must learn to cease all forms of inter-religious persecution and segregation, and instead unite in a spirit of love and understanding. We are all brothers and sisters in this family of faith with God as our our head. Respect the little differences that do exist, and accept that no two children in a family are the same. Continue to show love to everyone- even those who do not believe. In fact, more so for a brother who has lost his way- bring him back to the family fold. Do this not by force or threat, but through prayer and love, as our God has taught us.

I end this letter, with the reassurance that God who is the source of all being, and who has given us the freedom to choose what we believe and follow, knows that one day all will be brought back to Him- one body, one faith. Until then, dear friends remember:

‘I believe in the fundamental Truth of all great religions of the world. I believe they are all God given and I believe they were necessary for the people to whom these religions were revealed. And I believe that if only we could all of us read the scriptures of the different faiths from the standpoint of the followers of these faiths, we should find that they were at the bottom all one and were all helpful to one another’ - M K Gandhi

-Cathy

My life gets a bit more interesting it seems..............so I got a little pensieve

Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to take a train to oblivion. You know like all these movies where you see the impossible being played out. Anyways what would it be like to a take a trip to neverland. I know everybody keeps saying that there's no such thing, but they do not remember that Neverland isnt exactly a place. I believe that its a mental utopia, a kind of atlantis hidden behind the curtains of your memory. I envision this utopia everytime a pass a bookstore. This might sound odd to you, but over the years, books have taken up most of my imagination. Its like my girlfriends decide to go out clubbing friday night, and i decline cause im reading 'Tess of the D'ubervilles' by Charlotte Bronte waiting to find out what happens to Mr D'uberville. I mean I'm sure you're probably thinking...'what happened to watching a movie or going out to get some icecream instead?' I'd like that also dont get me wrong, but I feel like i got to do what i'm cut out to enjoy. If i'm not reading Shakespeare, then its Dickens, or watching The Dark Knight. I'm sorry, but i don't think i can make it to the end of this post without like a million metaphors behind me and that's just because i'm feeling more intense as i swerve my way through each sentence

You Just have to dream sometimes......

I had to take off my earphones so I could write this properly.....so you had better read it!!

Okay so everybody wants to read about fashion, beauty, and love but I am a bit deeper than that. I tend to chide myself on being able to think outside the box and see the big picture You know? To me fashion is not just about clothes but style, beauty is not just appearance but class, and love is not just a feeling but a story about a dream and if you've never dreamt then you probably don't sleep much or maybe you've insomnia. The point is that you need to believe that you have it in you to feel so that you can give out your heart to some stranger. Or the courage to wear beach shorts to the white house when you know that you have an executive meeting. It all comes down to one thing, and that is substance. Your substance determines who you are and what you can do. Without that element, you are just a plain being in flesh and bones. The point is that you should never mistake yourself for someone you know you are not. Be your best and not someone else's. That is what I want to leave behind in the footprints of your mental pathways so that with every new post you get a deeper outlook on the person I am......the person who writes as an unknown. And one day when i am rich and famous, I hope to be remembered not by the rhyme but the content of my words.

I remain your healer........Duby.